Euless, TX (music; grandmaster flash & the furious five)

I've been skinny my whole life, as far as I know. My baby pictures are mysteriously missing and there is a large chunk of childhood I don't remember. So I suppose it is possible that during that time frame I was being bussed between home & Montel William's studios one of those you dont know me, you can't judge me. My baby loves oreos dipped in crisco and there aint nothin you can do abouts it sort of things. But from what I remember, I've always been skinny.

Fast food and chains are a general no-go for me which helps. Lately though, the concern isn't quality, it's quantity. Working twelve hour work days in the shop, there was no way to fit in three squares a day without feeling guilty. But on the road it's a different story. The other demo drivers relish in secret local hot spot eaterys which adds a level of unnecessary competition to every meal. Where'd you go? Oh, what a shame. Oh it's nothing. No, I'm sure it WAS good. Oh me? A glass enclosed hot air balloon basket overlooking the grandcanyon where I was served truffles and sushi handrolled and delivered by Kevin Bacon. With Oprah. At sunset.

I had been warned that all demo drivers put on a few pounds, but this was not a fate I was willing to accept. The first few weeks I laughed in the face of scales. Nothing. Not a gram. Attempting to fit in as many hours on a saddle as I did in the driver's seat, I had achieved an exhausting yet attainable balance. And I could eat cake.

E-mails came in questioning my current state, attaching pictures of the body that could be mine with Little Debbie's help. Special travel arrangement suggetions reminded me that having to buy a second airline seat should not be a shameful event. I was assured that blaming the holidays was an acceptable excuse. It infiltrated my dreams. Jeans with elastic wastebands danced in my head. ... I in my moo-moo, my suitcase unpacked. Had just gobbled down two stale fruitcakes for snack.

Let me assure you, not everything is bigger in Texas. Not yet anyhow.