Minneapolis, MN (music; the rolling stones)

I'm writing new laws for this city.
1). You will receive one broken car window everytime you drive within two feet of a cyclist. Three feet is the law, two feet is deadly. Back off.
2) More breakfast taco stands shall be created, posthaste.
3) You must have a similar ratio of available outlets to table space in your cafe.

Ten minutes til powerdown.

This room can seat approximately thirty-five people, fifty if some of those people just wanted to sit without table space. Fifty seven if you count small children and irritating couples. How many outlets are available, you ask? One single powerstrip. One. I would forgive this if the business would have organized its tables in a large group circle, a pow-wow around the glorified powerstrip. I would commend their attempts to band together brethren over lattes and iced tea in an environment where folks sit together silently for hours at a time. Alas, they have not. In this current arrangement, despite having six slots available for your electronic pleasure, only three people can reach the powerstrip. Sadly, the rest of us forgot our extension cords in our other backpacks today.

What's equally troubling is that there is a second wall outlet entirely inaccessable. Two outlets, being denied the ability to complete their sole function, denied their reason for existance, smashed by a referbished church pew. There is no room to drop your cord behind the pew in hopes that some magical magnetic attraction will suck your plug into it. Don't bother dropping to all fours crawling under the pew, the outlet is behind the backrest, just out of reach.

Four minutes til powerdown.

The knees of my pants, brown and wet cling to my leg as a constant reminder of my failed attempt. Everytime one of the chosen few shift in their chairs I am ready to pounce, my legs tense in ready action to spring for their spot. The room is on edge waiting for someone to finish their coffee and unplug. New folks join us, surveying the room back and forth like chickens, scattering towards the places one would usually find outlets to be met with the crumbling brick of the interior wall.

It seems some social experiment, some sick joke. Free internet access is advertised with a window cling on the front door and inside you have, well, nothing. Coffee too hot to chug and relocate. I know where this is headed, yes, it could be viewed as my fault to not have a properly powered computer. But this is America. We shouldn't be denied our basic rights due to our lack of preparation. This is the country of blaming others, take arms with your patriotic brethren and take a stand against these business mongrels.

Time's up. Powering down.